The Mad Hatter

This week’s student blog is a guest feature from the Mad Hatter!

On a Wednesday afternoon, my companions and I found ourselves at the Ladies’ Luncheon Club at the Grand Hotel. The ladies seemed to have been having a tea party of some sort, and I was rather insulted that I had not been invited.

I also noticed that as soon as we entered the room, they went awfully quiet and they were all staring at us. It was rather bizarre. I felt like we were on show. How frightfully rude of them. Especially since they didn’t make any attempts to conceal that they were eavesdropping. My old friend, the March Hare was hopping mad!

If it weren’t bad enough that we were being made to feel like a spectacle.  In addition to this, we had our own misfortune to deal with. The last page of our story was missing. Can you believe it? Of all the times, it had to be in front of those nosy parkers.

And did they help us find it? No, they did not. In fact, they seemed to find the whole situation rather amusing. They had the nerve to laugh at us! Such impertinence, I have never witnessed.

Mind you we did give them something to stare at. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum would not stop fighting.  How embarrassing.  No breeding!  And the Dormouse?  Heavens above, she just could not stay awake long enough to be useful.

Fortunately, the Cheshire Cat saved us from further humiliation by suggesting we devised an ending of our own, but of course I’d already thought of that.

The White Rabbit was keen to point out to me later, that missing pages are rather troublesome and that it would better if they didn’t exist. But then again, one could argue, that non-existence is the very trouble with them. It’s all terribly confusing.

But then that blasted Red Queen had to call me up for trial along with the Tweedles. Did any of the ladies jump to my defence, despite the fact they had made a point of witnessing everything that had occurred.  Did they tell the Red Queen that she had made a mistake and that I was innocent, and hadn’t devoured the tart? No, no one did anything. It was almost as if they didn’t care whether I lost my beautiful head.

Eventually I did get my tea party, but when my tea cup was empty, I had to go and get another one, and that’s when I found the last page, cleverly concealed in a teapot. Alice, at long last, saved us from the embarrassment of any more problems and completed the story for us.

The Mad Hatter – Florence Bunday (Year 10)